"There's a wonderful butcher about 15 minutes down Riverview Road," I continued cheerfully. "They're open until six. The grill's all ready. There's fresh charcoal in the storage bin! What are you waiting for?"
"But... but..." Juliette sputtered. "You invited us!"
"Actually, you invited yourselves!" I corrected gently, taking a sip of tea. "But don't worry! I'm sure the kids will love these sandwiches once they try them."
The children, bless their honest little hearts, immediately began their protest chorus.
"Where are the hot dogs?" Tyler demanded.
"I want hamburgers!" Madison wailed.
"This tastes like plants!" announced three-year-old Connor, dropping his sandwich like it had offended him. "That coo-coom-bur looks scary. Mommy!"
Juliette stood up, her chair scraping against the deck with the sound of nails on a chalkboard. "This is incredibly rude, Annie. We're family."
"Exactly! And family helps family. We've hosted every holiday for four years. I thought it was time for everyone to pitch in."
Sarah and Kate exchanged glances that could have started a wildfire. Bryan, who had been watching from the kitchen doorway, finally stepped forward.
"There's a great selection at Morrison's Meat Market," he offered diplomatically. "I could give you directions. Or we could all go together, yeah?"
The look Juliette shot him could have curdled milk at 50 paces. "I cannot believe you're supporting this... selfishness."
"I'm supporting my wife!" Bryan replied politely, and I felt my heart swell with pride and love.
They left within the hour, but not before Juliette delivered a parting shot that would've made a soap opera villain proud.
"You've turned my son against his own family," she hissed as they loaded their disappointed children into the cars. "I hope you're happy."
"I'm getting there," I replied, waving cheerfully as they drove away in a cloud of dust and wounded dignity.
The next morning, I woke up to 17 missed calls and a Facebook notification that made my blood pressure spike. Juliette had posted a novel-length rant about her "heartless daughter-in-law" who had "ruined the Fourth of July for innocent children."
